Crazy Old People and Sea Glass

Let me just give you a little color about our fellow travelers.  Cruise lines cater to different folks and Holland America is known to attract an older crowd.  The meals are a little more formal. The entertainment is a little old school. And the activities include Bridge and Afternoon Tea.    Dave and I were prepared because not too many young folks can take a 21 days cruise. But we weren’t prepared.  This crowd was OLD! I’m betting the average was 85-90.  The lady sitting behind us at dinner one night was celebrating her 103 birthday. 

There were motorized scooters everywhere.  In the piano bar,   there were scooters parked in the back and the folks were catching a few ZZZZs.  It was only 9:00. And quite honestly, these people should have to pass a dexterity test to operate these things.  If you didn’t watch out you could lose a toe.

And speaking of toes, on a Caribbean cruise you see a mass of toes and feet.  People, people, feet need maintenance.  If you can’t reach ‘em or see em, it’s called a pedi.  I won’t go into graphic detail, because you might be eating crusty bread with cheese.

So the next island was Samana, Dominican Republic.  The day was overcast and rainy.  Our fellow travelers didn’t give us very good reviews and we had been to the DR before.  So we hung out on board, reading, playing trivia and eating ice cream.  They also have some awesome baked cookies.  Ohhh-lala.

The next day is a day at sea.  Today, we discovered the Mixology Class.  For a mere $12, you learn to make 4 cocktails. That includes mixing, drinking and prizes.  Our prizes were additional drinks. Holy Crap this takes place at 3:00.  No wonder I need a nap before dinner.

Now we dock at Bonaire. Bonaire is one of the ABC islands (Aruba, Bonaire and Curacao). Each of the islands is known for something different.  In hindsight, this was one of my favorite islands.  Bonaire is known for shore diving.  This means, that you can get your tanks and just walk in for some great underwater views.   The water was clear.  The fish were unbelievable.  The beaches are not good because it’s so rocky.  But this leads to sea glass everywhere.  I came back with my pockets full.   After we finished snorkeling and our walking around, we stop at a little grass hut and order the local brew.  The bartender tells us that Polar is the closest to local which is Venezuelan.  Close enough- Venezuela is only 50 miles away.  Tonight, the show is “Simply Broadway”.  We don’t even sit down.  We check it out and sneak out pass the scooters.

Snorklers off the rocky coast of Bonaire.

Sand, Surf & Barracuda

This weekend Deanna from NY came to visit.  I got a little lecture on my lack of blogness, so I promised to be a good blog girl and catch up on my posts.

So… Back to our cruise.  Our first day was supposed to be a stop at the island of Half Moon Cay, the private island of Holland America.  At 8:30am, our Australian Cruise Director- Drew comes on to announce that the seas are so rough today that we will not be able to take our tender service to the island.   For those who don’t know, a tender service is when they get a couple of the life boats and haul people to the island because there is not a dock available to house a humongous cruise boat.   

So we are off to a great start.  Our first island is cancelled and I’m convinced that my day is going to include a session of seasickness.

We spent the day at sea reading, playing trivia and going to a culinary seminar where they demonstrated Blue Cheese & Orange Swirl Canapes.  

Our cruise line allows you to bring on unlimited wine and champagne.  So we had stocked our room like a wine cellar.  I don’t have to tell you that buying alcohol on a cruise boat is like buying beer and hotdogs at the ballpark- before you know it you have to take out a home equity loan.

Dave pours our evening cocktail and we are off to dinner.  We met some new friends Allen and Ellen from New York but who are now living in Florida.  We check out the evening show- the Ballroom Blitz.  It stinks and we sneak out the back. 

We make it back to the room.  Luckily, I wore flats because we are walking like a pair of pin balls down the hallway because the boat is a rockin’. Shew- I made it through the day with my belly in check.

Next morning, the seas are calm and we are docking in Grand Turk.  What a beautiful beach!  Dave and I are tight wads and we are going to try to avoid going on too many shore excursions through the cruise line.    Since the beach is right next to the dock, we are golden.  We brought our snorkel gear and it is perfect.  We drop in and putz around checking out the Angelfish and the Barracuda.  After we see what there is to see, we head over to Margaritaville where they have an awesome pool that is free to use.  So we splurge on a couple margaritas and lay in the sun. 

This is the life.

Florida- The land of Mojitos and Strip Clubs

In October, Dave and I were trying to figure out what we were going to do for the month of Dec.  Lots of vacation spots are discounted between Thanksgiving and Christmas because it’s typically a low travel time.   Dave threw out that we look at a 10 day cruise.  I started to look around and found a 21 day cruise that was SUPER cheap at that time, $1299 a person. Peeps, that is just over $60 a day to sleep, eat and see the islands.  Dave’s response- “Book it, Danno.” 

I have to be honest, I had some apprehension about a 21 day cruise for 2 reasons.   Reason  #1-On our first cruise, the first several days were rough seas.  Some of the staff had never seen it so rough.  I get seasick anyway so needless to say I was feeding the fish.  After a double dose of drugs, I was in a coma for a day and half.  Reason #2- At this point, I’ve been “vacationing’ for 2 months and I am currently sporting a muffin top.  I’m not currently feeling my bikini best and I have nowhere to go but down if I continue with my cocktail and dessert fest.

So, we drove from my Dad’s house down to Ft Lauderdale to catch the cruise.  Along the way, we stopped in Charleston because that is one of the places we wanted to stay after the cruise. (Side note- we liked it so much, we have a beach house for Jan, Feb and Mar).  After that, we decided to check out Miami Beach.  The architecture is cool.  But to be frank, the place is a little too fake-hip for me.  It’s all about being seen.  You know me, I’m a gypsy, bumpkin at heart.  But we did have lunch at the coolest place- called Nikko’s which is right off the beach .  Our table was sitting in sand and we enjoyed the Cuban delight known as Mojito!

We get to Ft Lauderdale.  Dave has booked a cheapo packing spot for $4 a day. SCORE!  We get to the address on our paperwork and low and behold- it’s a club- a bar type club.  This can’t be the place.  But there is another couple with suitcases loitering in the parking lot.  Hmmm- they look like cruisers not clubbers.  Mike and Veronica were from outside Toronto.  They had been waiting outside what Veronica coined the” strip club” for over an hour but the shuttle was on the way.

But we safely get to the Noordam ship with no incidence.  Remember, we’ve got the cheap room.  So it’s about the size of a postage stamp on the interior of the ship.  Alright, I’m exaggerating.  It is 150 square feet which means that you have to scoot in sideways to get into bed from the side or you can always just dive in from the end.  Our bathroom is small enough where I could maximize my efficiency by peeing, showering and washing my hands in the sink all at the same time. 

The first night- we set sail into the sunset with a glass of wine and the sound of Jimmy Buffet.

The first island stop is tomorrow.  Stay tuned….